In Memory of my Dad

On the 4th of march 2008 at 11:30am my Dad died.  He had a 5 year battle with cancer. 

I wasn't real close to my Dad in my adult years. We had very different views on some things and I let that put distance between us. I blamed him for some of the weaknesses I struggled with and judged him for some decisions he made that I didn't understand. I really struggled to tell him that I loved him.

In the last year or so of his life I realised that I needed to sort things out so I spent some time just me and him talking a few things over. I asked him to forgive me for the way I had shut myself off from him emotionally. I also shared with him about the weaknesses we had in common. That day was a real watershed for me and every time I spoke to him from that day until he died I told him I loved him. It was like the years of distance between rolled away and I began to embrace the good in my Dad again.

Don't let anyone in your family pass from this life without making your peace with them. You will regret it and that makes for very messy grief.

I wanted to share my reflections of Dad that I read out at the funeral......

My Dad had a shed that was like a young boy’s heaven. Any bits and pieces you needed to make any number of contraptions could be found in Dad’s shed. I loved going in there and rummaging around in the drawers and boxes to look for treasures.

Dad was really good with his hands and he always managed to make things with the resources he had. He made many items of furniture, improvements to the house and the yard, and cubby houses when we were growing up.

When I look at my Dad’s hands I see my hands, and I too have inherited his enjoyment in making and building things. He took the time to teach me about wood working and electronics. I watched and learnt and worked with him. Not long before Dad was diagnosed with cancer in 2003 we built a bed together as a gift for Laura.

Dad’s memory will live on in my thoughts but his legacy will live on through my own hands, and I embrace now all those things we have in common. Some of which are a love for the outdoors, camping, building stuff, and all things remote controlled.

Dad also taught me by example that Chivalry is not dead. He knew how to treat a lady and treated Mum with respect, dignity and honour.

The greatest gift he gave me was to point me towards our creator and heavenly father. So much of the character and nature of our creator God was revealed through my dad. He was creative, compassionate, giving, forgiving, long suffering, faithful and devoted.

Because we are created in God’s image, each of us has the ability to reveal His character in creation. The choice is ours. My Dad chose to reflect that image as best he could and he did what God asks of us… to connect with the good in creation and be the hands and feet of Christ to those around us. Some days I follow that example.

So… over the last few days of Dad’s life as I sat with him in the stillness and quietness I was able once again to reflect on what is really important and what Dad really contributed in this life. I believe his greatest contribution was to point people to Jesus through his lifestyle.

And now the Creator who holds the world in His hands now holds the hand of my Dad and says to him “Well done good and faithful servant enter in to the joy of your Lord”

I Love you Dad.